Doesn't Matter

by 03:24 0 Comments
In this world creation after creation been made. Where there will be flaws. I should learn that not everything would be perfect. Even knowledge could not be perfect.
I could understand My flaws that I can't count. (I'm not good in Mathematics). Perhaps, I could not understand flaws in other things. Undertand the previous sentence technically.

Not literally.

Things would not always be the way I planned. I don't know if anyone else, but for Me, whenever things didn't go the way I planned, surely I will cry and disappointed.
Sometimes, I feel like giving up. It's not 'sometimes'. Almost all the time, when things didn't turned out the way I planned, I feel like giving up. I feel like I'm the most pathetic human kind exists.

After a while, I decided to stand up firm, and be strong. I try to find the most optimistic thinking to boost up My mood. I try to say to Myself "It's okay. There must be numerous reasons of why these happened to Me. There must be reasons."
Even though, after I said those things to Myself, I'm still hoping things turned out the way I want.

Well, as for now... I feel doomed. It's quite hard for Me to see Him. It's not every day that I could meet Him. And for Me, it's crucial to meet Him. But, I can't. I could literally listen to My heart is breaking piece by piece, shattering cruelly into a hole of darkness (Exaggeration).

I feel so fucking damn sad. I just want to punch the locker's door, tear up the bedsheet, throw the printer to the wall, breaking the lamp, kick the wall and things in My compartment and other things as well.

I feel like disconnecting My connection with all the people.
I want to disappear...

Things and stuffs been harsh towards Me. I just want to go vanish. Go to another Island or somewhere else where no one knows Me. No one could find Me. I don't want to see My friends.

• Weakest Point •
I am disconnecting △

Ruqayya Fuad

Essayist

If anyone can have it, I don't want it

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