Unwanted

by 12:30 0 Comments
Anyone who reads this deserves My deepest apologize if this post offenses You.

I've been so excited to go for a date with My Boyfriend. Hmm. It's hard for Me to spill out the exact things in My heart. It is true that some things are better left unsaid. So I try to keep and hide what should be spilled out.

Baby, if only I know from the first Text I received that You have a Girlfriend, I won't even reply or I were replying, I would ask You to take care of Your Girlfriend. But, it's not Me who has the power of My own fate. I fall in love with You so fast. I'm not regretting it.

I'm not such a desperate kind of Bitch who would simply snatch on someone's lover. I'm not that type. I might be seen as a crazy bitch and quite a bimbo. But, explore Me. Don't judge so soon. My talk-active nature is just one of the ways to hide My truest feelings upon something.

I'm not saying I am good. After all, I believe there are so much kindness in each Person that I hate. And those People who I hate, must be loved by someone else because of their kindness. I believe kindness in everyone. I do judge people in both of their Kindness and Badness.

Quote nowadays "Don't Judge and bla bla bla" OR "Who are You to judge?" Well, do they even know that Allah told us to judge according to Guidelines given by Allah? Do they even notice on that? It means, We are allowed to judge among us.

I believe even in His Former Girlfriend has lots of kindness that couldn't be comparable to Me as I have only a little. There must be numerous reasons of why She'd been chosen as Your Girlfriend before this. Right Wahyu? She must be really nice, She probably better in cooking, dressing, and talking than Me.

Yes, actually I love self-blaming. And I don't have a single clue of why did You choose to stay with Me? I need to be particular in this. I'm no good compared to anyone.

Remember this Wahyu, You need to find other reasons than these reasons which I've listed here:
I'm not good in cooking AT ALL. Even though no one considers tasted any of My cooking, but the truth is, I've cooked several simple meals like Sambal Ikan, Sambal Telur, Telur Masak Kicap, Fried Rice, Ayam/Telur/Ikan Goreng, and Sambal Udang. I am also not good in dressing. I'm not good in choosing what to wear and what not. I am not good in academic (SERIOUSLY). Yes, I do get several highest marks in Class after I studied like a Tsunami with strength of 9.5 Scala Ritchter (I don't know how to spell it). I am not good looking, that is one of the reasons why I wear Makeup. I try to hide My ugliness. Hahahaha. I'm not rich. OBVIOUSLY 😁 I am talkactive which might annoyed You. Haih, to list out all My badness, I need 10 Days and 9 Nights. Hahahahaha.

All in all, I am so annoying.

So, give Me legit reasons. Why'd You choose to stay with Me?

I'm in love with You Wahyu Hidayat.

Ruqayya Fuad

Essayist

If anyone can have it, I don't want it

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